Russian Advance Takes Novel Twist.

Ukraine, take note.

AxisWatch: The lads get together for a boat ride

Our friends in the Axis have been up to their usual tricks this week. This time it was the turn of Russia and Venezuela to show their unity and dedication to the cause. Russian ship Peter the Great set sail from the Russian Northern Fleet's base in Severomorsk. I'm not sure exactly where that is but I'm sure it's cold, grey and nasty there. From there the fleet will travel 15,000 nautical miles to engage in some "manouevres" with the Venezuelan navy. At that point they will all get pissed and laugh at Dimtri's "Bushims" poster that he promised to bring over. This deployment comes at the same time as an announcement that big Hugo is heading off to Moscow for a visit in a few weeks, and increasingly close ties between Russia and Cuba and other Latin American nations have been forged in recent weeks. These events have been linked to the US's reaction to Russia's intervention in Georgia recently. Advice for the US, and particularly for Sarah Palin, in the horrifically possible event that she ends up being leader of the "free" world, is to back the hell away. Hugo and Dmitri said in a joint press conference: "Misunderestimate. That's not even a real word!!! Hahahaa what a dumbass!!!"

AxisWatch: "Screw you USA," say Dmitri and Hugo

We all know the Evil ones' favourite secret recipes for world domination include oil, weapons and Cuban doctors. So when the lads get together for a party and Fidel can't come play, you can guess the outcome. Yup, Hugo headed to Moscow, got tanked on Vodka (see photo, our Dmitri is hammered), and signed some oil deals between Russian firms and the Venezuelan state oil firm. While there, they of course also signed an arms deal for poor Hugo, to "guarantee the sovereignty of Venezuela which is being threatened by the United States". They also heralded the now-cliched "era of closer relations". Go on the lads!

AxisWatch

Our latest feature will keep an eye on the goings on inside the world's favourite group of countries. No, not the Benelux, silly!!! It's The Axis of Evil!!!